Pride & Prejudice
- Beansprout
- Aug 5, 2024
- 8 min read
Updated: Aug 24, 2024
It was August 2nd, and the weather was just right for an outdoor event. Music and laughter spilled out of Dee Hub community centre, onto the streets of Ardee. Busy traffic slowed to have a glimpse in to the car park, where many attendees had gathered to watch the two musicians, and to have their faces painted.
With little funding to hand (help provided by neighbouring group The Outcomers for supplies, and the usual generous donation from councillor John Sheridan), it proved a success for New Leaf youth club (Mid-Louth youth services) - Teens, staff, older folk, families with small kids... A broad mix of Ardee and Mid-Louth celebrated the day in the sunshine. Both the LGBTQIA+ community, and allies.
As a well-loved staff member was leaving for greener pastures, it was a bitter sweet day. A touching memorial occurred in the form of a song (written and performed by some of the teens), and of course a cake. From the outside this is a celebration like any other. Like Paddy's day, or turning on the Christmas tree lights... But smaller, noticeably quieter. A few key elements are missing. It's public enough to count; but the space in between "private" and "public" is vast.
Is Pride Too Big For a Small Town?
Ardee will never be Dundalk or Drogheda. We may never have the bigger events, the funding, the number of people who wish to engage. That goes without saying, for any and all occasions. However, what ever way we look at this, having any public display for our LGBTQIA+ friends and family, is massive for the town.
While year four has now passed, I can't help but wonder why none of the local businesses are yet to get involved. Of course there are food and sweet offerings by a few, a much welcomed kindness. People have volunteered their time, and their talents, in so many ways. But unlike in Dundalk or Drogheda, there are no independent pub nights for the adults, or quizzes to fundraise, or shows... There is no recognised Pride Week outside of what the Dee Hub and New Leaf offer (and what they offer is fantastic, which they must be commended on). There is a very obvious gap that isn't being filled, entirely on purpose, by local establishments such as pubs. One must wonder why this is, after all in that respect surely we are no different than Drogheda or Dundalk - One thing Ardee isn't lacking in, is pubs.
While I doubt anyone wants to see yet another rainbow washed BS corporate function, cis and straight folk simply cashing in on the lived experiences of a minority group, it would be good to witness even any form of solidarity. And if the issue was that businesses felt they didn't want to make money by exploiting such a sacred event from a community they have no ties with, then the easiest solution would be to hold Pride events that fundraise for New Leaf (and similar organisations). This is a common practice in neighbouring towns. It's a win/ win - The affected community gets donations to keep their support networks open, and the pubs also rake in the cash.
The answer perhaps is unfortunately far simpler... No one in Ardee is holding such events, because they do not want to. As much as we have grown in to a vibrant town we all love so dearly, maybe we just aren't ready for that level of forward thinking and acceptance. There even may be an element of fear from business owners, who do not wish to be targeted. And safety must be considered. While we all want to bury our heads and defend this notion by shouting how tolerant we are personally, we know all too well that this isn't the case within broader society.
The "silent minority", are not so silent.
The Why, The When & The Begrudgery
While we are reflecting on how we can help everyone in our town feel accepted, the origins of Pride should not be forgotten... Music and celebration is how we view LGBTQIA+ Pride in 2024, but the early days were about revolution and fighting for basic human rights.
Pride was born in Manhattan in 1970 - Far away from Ireland, and before we would ever consider such a public display. A year before this the notorious Stonewall riots generated a movement. In the early hours of the morning, police raided the well-known Stonewall Inn, and this time the LGBTQIA+ communities fought back. After all, there is only so much oppression any group can take. Previous raids had led to the closure of other safe spaces, and the people affected decided enough was enough. While it was hardly the beginning of fighting against homophobia, the occasion was remembered through celebration and thus Pride came to be. However, it was another thirty years before Pride was officially recognised in the US. So each year when we celebrate Pride, we are literally celebrating revolution and the continued demand for equal, human rights. What a remarkable thing it is to have the privilege to do so!
There is an eye-rolling misconception that public Pride events mean that some how heterosexual and cis people are having their rights stripped away, that they are being forced in to *shock* celebrating an event they want nothing to do with. As we have looked at (very briefly), a well fought battle for human rights and equality is nothing to be smirked at... There is no "straight pride day" because straight people simply have not experienced that level of prejudice. If you are heterosexual you have not been dehumanised or arrested for simply being yourself, and for who you love. You haven't had courts and country publicly debate and vote on your right to live, your right for freedom or your right to marriage.
Another common confusion around Pride, and this one of course is a far more innocent query, is the days/ dates that events tend to be held on. Yes, Pride Month in the US is celebrated in June. However, around Ireland there is a noticeable difference between towns choices of when to hold their celebrations of the day/ week/ month. The basic answer to this is that for such a small country, it makes no sense to clash with the main highlight - Dublin. With easy access to our capital, many travel to Dublin Pride (the parade occurs on the last Saturday in June). While Ardee holds ours at the beginning of August, Dundalk Pride took place on the first week of July, and Drogheda celebrated nearer the end of July. So while it might seem that Pride is celebrated all summer (according to Facebook commenters, anyway), this is just not the case. Although wouldn't it be wonderful if it was! (Hint: If your answering "no" in your head right now, your query was never innocent to begin with).
Being Inclusive Needs To Be Louder
Ardee Pride went off without a hitch... Almost. There was a report of a minor incident of an aggressive individual, spewing hate from his car as he passed. I say "minor", and anyone reading this who attends Pride events will unfortunately know that there usually is at least one nasty event. Even if brief. I gather the one during Ardee Pride was brief at least. But I'm careful not to downplay any incident. After all, we are talking about a grown adult shouting hate at children and teens, and adults, many belonging to a minority group... When is that ever ok? Are we talking about this enough? Are we loud enough, and more importantly are the straight members of our society loud enough? Pride includes allyship - Every day should include allyship.
While in many ways we grow as a town, as a country, year by year, we also slip back when we don't speak up and defend others in public spaces. We convince ourselves that it's best to be quiet, that communities don't need our help with their battles.
We have all witnessed the verbal and physical abuse of librarians across Ireland the last few years, the growth of a movement who says they want to help our communities stay safe, but only serve to spread hate and violence. We have all watched, shocked and disgusted, as Garda Síochána escorted such criminals in to buidlings to harrass innocent staff members and volunteers.
But perhaps the loudest place of all for the fear-mongers to thrive is online.
Dundalk Pride, hosted by the Outcomers, has a well-established history within Dundalk town as being a family friendly and fun filled week of events. Historically the family day was held on the grounds of the organisation, although in recent years it had moved to the town square - Centre stage, taking it's rightful place at the heart of the community. Last years event was a vibrant display of music and dance, including a kids play area and sheltered seating. Everyone welcome to attend, as long as they showed respect to those around them. Unfortunately this year the usual fundraising and sponsorship efforts didn't gain enough to host such a large event, and the Outcomers announced they would downscale to host a smaller family day at their beautiful premises and courtyard. This in itself isn't a loss, an event is still an event after all, however the real kicker for those involved in organising was the online comments. When the news broke there was a very loud presence of abuse and sneering (many, many trash opinions that don't even deserve a real reply to - and a genuine mix of silly ignorance).
Most people affected showed absolute grace and dignity in the presence of such public display of vitriol, however I am not one of those people. I have decided that I would not like to stay quiet on this one, and I'm using my straight-presenting privilege to highlight a problem that we need to tackle as a whole society.
See below for actual comments under the shared Facebook article. Remember: these were posted on a public page, so those who feel this way are well aware their tacky opinions are visible for all to see - their children, their family, their friends and even their work colleagues, and possibly even their boss. They feel this way, without any shame or remorse. Also note there were numerous laugh reacts on said post, and laugh reacts on the positive comments.
I'm adding these receipts to this article simply to showcase that these types of people and groups are no longer shy - their hate is no longer silent and behind closed doors, and we should ALL be very afraid by that. Whether gay or not, none of us are immune to receiving this level of hostility. Neither are our kids. Let it be noted that Dundalk is not unique with this online reaction, every town and city this year seemed to receive new levels of blatant and obvious commentary.
* TW FOR THESE NEXT FEW IMAGES UNFORTUNATELY *
None of this actually mattered of course, as The Outcomers and their supporters had the last laugh by celebrating yet another fantastic Pride in the town. Here's to 2025!
We are all aware that the towns and villages in county Louth and across Ireland are being held together by community groups, organisations and charities, just like Dundalk Outcomers. We owe them so much, and they ask for so little. These groups give far more to society than those who choose to waste their lives living in hate, slaggig off teenagers online who just want to celebrate their right to exist.
I would be very surprised if these commenters contributed much to us at all - volunteered their time, protested for any of our human rights, or even vagely cared about our well-being as a whole community. But this is a broader issue that we all must deal with. We need to call out these attacks when we see them, simply as wrong.
I am hopeful that Ardee/ Mid Louth Pride 2025 could be even bigger than before. Perhaps in reading this, some establishments will begin to think ahead of how they can celebrate and join in on the festivities. Maybe one day we'll see a parade through Ardee town, just like they have in Drogheda. After all, none of us should be in the shadows, especially during Pride Week.
I suppose in all of this I am saying that let's drown out the not so silent minority. Next year let's aim to support everyone in our community, make everyone feel loved for who they are - And simply show gratitude to the small organisations like New Leaf, that make Ardee a more inclusive and better place to live.
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